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Date Two C++

I’m giving my date with “C++” an “A-“!

facebookstalk

I had so much fun on this date.  We got along great, he laughed at my jokes and told me stories of crazy women he’s dated (much crazier sounding than me).   I wouldn’t change a single thing! Except for maybe saying this

“I found you on google without knowing your last name!”

There is really no way to make this sound impressive.  Nothing says creepy stalker like admitting you are a creepy stalker.  It completely overshadows the skill it took to get here.  I followed this up with 

“I wrote about you in my online dating blog”

This one puzzles me too. I’m still not sure what compelled me to share.  Overall, I had a great time and I think he did too.  We made plans for a second date on Saturday.

 

Important Update

I am laughing at what I wrote just yesterday about my great date.

Life experience is a gift and this date is the gift that keeps on giving.

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The following content contains real flags.  Do not fly these at home!

C++ called me last night a little after midnight.  He was slurring and hard to understand. I listened carefully.   He asked me why I was home and not out having fun.  I lost my beloved pet a few hours before and was grieving.   “OHHHH,” he said, “right, you have a cat…, Well, at least animals are easier to deal with than humans.”

He started venting about his frustrating family dynamic, explaining to me how difficult it is to be right when everyone else is wrong.  Once he finished bashing his siblings, he moved the conversation over to me.

He said, “Now, I don’t mean this as an attack on you, but…”

I immediately put my phone on speaker and grabbed a pen and paper. It’s funny that later he suggested I should take notes.  “OH, I AM!” I said.  He told me his impression of me from our date.   He explained that he figured out early on that, my dating agenda is casual encounters and not a relationship.  He said he wondered why I was trying to hide my intentions.   Huh?  According to him, I have shifty wandering eyes that did not focus time on him.  I am also friends with too many of my exes.  This statement refers to our conversation from the night before when he said he couldn’t or wouldn’t be friends with his exes and I said that yeah I can sometimes.

I guess shifty eyes and friendly exes are red flags too.  I’m not posing as a single forty something woman looking for a relationship because I really want meaningless encounters with guys like this one.   Sorry C++, your code won’t execute until you figure out your error message.  Invalid argument.

Join me and my flags as we wave goodbye to Mr. Right Now Never.

 

Oh Cool!  Saturday night just opened up.

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Over-Forty and Internet Dating

10 DATE CHALLENGE

I’m turning 45 in a few months. My fear of dating has kept me single for almost eight years. I want more! I want to break free from the chains that bind and experience personal growth as I have never known! To do this, I will plunge myself into the icy cold waters of online dating knowing it only starts online and my dates qualify only if they are in person and not over the internet. I am going to look fear right in the eyes and say “Yes, fear I will go out with you.

When you challenge your limits, great things can happen.

A little background on me. I have a troubled picker when it comes to men. I make questionable choices that puzzle my friends and family.

My best friend teases me that my criteria for dating someone is whether or not they have been in prison or a street gang. The darker the danger, the deeper my love.

My thinking, of course, is flawed and I know this. Yes, I got issues. You’ve got em too. The important thing is we are all addressing them in therapy, right? Wouldn’t it be cool if therapists gave out certificates of achievement for the work we do in therapy?

certificate

Okay so back to my dating challenge. For my apps, I chose WooPlus, the number one dating site for BBW dating. One review of this app called it “The Tinder for BBW women”. Did I mention I am a plus size lady? My second app is OkCupid. It’s popular, has decent reviews and best of all its free to join.

Here is a screenshot of my WooPlus profile:

 

Date Four – ScienceGuy

When someone asks me why I’m still single i be like “I donno i thought i was cool as shit…”

Spinners, Spacesavers and Scienceguy

Spinners and Spacesaver Bags

People often comment that I carry the emotional baggage of a thirty-year-old.” There are two secrets to keeping your past looking young and fresh. The first is to invest in a quality set of luggage that rides on the latest spinner wheel technology. That way even the heaviest bags can be carried around effortlessly. My second secret is Spacesavers! I suck the air out of all my issues before packing them in my bags. More crap fits in less space.

ScienceGuy

My fourth date was a cute gentleman majoring in Science (I forgot which one) at a local University. He was twenty-eight but it wasn’t until our actual date that he revealed his true age (Lie!). Okay, I do prefer younger men but not typically this young. On the other end of things, dating anyone in their fifties or older frightens me. I want to conquer and not confirm this fear. I will go out with at least one man aged fifty or older by the end of this challenge.
I met Scienceguy at a Starbucks near my home. I got the vibe early on that even though he was younger, he was more experienced at dating. He asked me a lot of questions about myself and I chatted away the first ninety minutes of our meeting. When he inquired as to why I was single, he was so polite, I almost didn’t recognize the question. “I have to ask.” he said, “How is it possible that a woman so beautiful and so fun to be around is not already taken?” I had no funny or insightful comeback. “I have no idea,” is all I said.

We decided to continue our date and grab dinner. We drove together to a restaurant nearby and I left my car at Starbucks. I should have driven myself. It doesn’t matter how unassuming someone seems, no more exception with my safety.

During the date I noticed polite things he did such as walking on the outside of the sidewalk and pulling my chair out at dinner. He was racking up some serious points. After dinner, we walked around a bit window shopping before heading back to the car.

I started to envision how our relationship might unfold. Will we fall in love despite the age difference? How long could it truly last? What about when I start having mood swings during menopause?

Unfortunately my day-dreaming ended as we arrived back by my car. He turned off his engine and asked for a kiss goodnight. I said okay. As soon as we locked lips, he unbuckled and unzipped his pants. I pulled away and looked at him, “Sooooo… this is not happening.” and the date ended.

The next time a guy asks for a kiss goodnight, I will clarify where and avoid this kind of awkward situation. By the time I got home, he already texted for another date.

My advice for ScienceGuy – exposure control in your next experiment.

Date Three – BadGolfer

I just left date three of my ten date challenge. My expectations for this date were pretty low and I felt less nervous going into it than before.
BadGolfer’s profile pics were not horrible but he had a peculiar facial expression in them.

What do you think?

Apart from bad pics, his messages were kind, funny and respectful. The thing that won me over was he didn’t over text. We graduated to phone conversations. No red flags so far. I had forgotten about his profile pics by this time. Then, a few nights ago he texted me three new pics right out of the blue … At first, I thought, Oh, I bet he saw what was wrong with his profile and sent me better ones. No, they were not better. He made the same face in all three. You can make it too. Curl your upper lip underneath itself and smile. See what I mean? I asked myself, “Did he send these to break up with me? We haven’t even started dating?” Wait, maybe he was trying to be funny? I did say I wanted someone to make me laugh. I had already agreed to meet him so I deleted the pics and put them out of my mind.

We met for coffee today.

I hate that awkward moment when you enter a restaurant and see someone for the very first time. I arrived early and seated myself at a table facing the coffee bar entrance. Awkward moment averted. Such relief hit when I finally saw him. He was attractive with no hint of a lip curl when he smiled at me. He must just sucks at selfies. He introduced himself and told me about his family and career in medical equipment sales. He has two nieces around the same age as mine and really likes children. He is sweet and seems devoted to his family. Why then do I think to myself, “Why is he still single?”

Wait did I just say that out loud? Oh Kris, why?.

Then i show off my backpedal. “Uh, let me explain what I mean. I don’t know about you, but I can’t help wondering why a person over forty, never married, etc……single”
Judging by the look on his face, he had not thought about this as much as me. He went along with me though and said “I think your problem could be intimidation. You seem very independent.” I corrected, “It’s not my independence, it’s my intelligence and beauty” I laughed. Thankfully, he laughed too.
I wish I had a smaller mouth so my foot didn’t so perfectly inside. Will I order the foot sandwich special on every date? I hope not. I might do better joining a foot fetish dating site. Something like

TinderFOOT

Pic.jpg

Here is my profile

Describe yourself:

I enjoy super deluxe pedicures and putting my foot in my mouth. Did I mention it’s size 11?

My date with BadGolfer went okay and lasted a few hours. Our conversation flowed and time went by quickly. I didn’t figure out why he’s still single but I think I’m closer to figuring the reason I am.

He walked me to my car and we agreed to a second date. This one was coffee, the next will be tee. Can you guess what we’re doing?

Thanks for visiting my blog.

Why am I still single?

Post pic

Week two is underway of my online dating challenge. The internet is full of articles on helpful tips and tricks to making a great dating profile. I even found a site that will do the work for you. Did you forget something? No worries, OkCupid offers a question/answer section. You can choose for yourself and then how you want your ideal mate to respond. I can’t believe I didn’t already address these on my profile. Thanks, OkCupid!

okcupiddolphin

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Does the church parking lot count? Just kidding, Mom.

These questions are great and if answered honestly provide insight into the person sending a “wink” your way. There is one question that doesn’t get asked on OkCupid. It’s pretty important and the sooner I get your answer, the quicker I can decide if you are someone I want to pursue. Ready for it?

“Why are you still single?”

That’s right. We spend all this energy creating the best version of our online profile and hope to catch the eye of our most beloved. It would be easier to look at someone’s profile and know exactly what you’re dealing with before you swipe left or right? I really don’t care if you shave your back hair or we listen to the same podcast. The last book you read is irrelevant unless I have an idea why you are forty-plus never married and looking for love on the internet.

But wait? I am over-forty, barely dating and looking for love on the internet.

Why am I still single?

If I ask Nana, she will say “you are just too smart and pretty and men are intimidated.” Aww, thanks, Nana. If I ask myself I get “you’re too fat” nice excuse, but no. There are plenty of overweight people dating and in relationships. Who can I ask? My girlfriends? Sure if I want to hear “I have no idea, I would totally date you if I were a guy!”.

I wonder if my internet dates will shed some light? It never hurts to ask.

Thanks for following my dating journey. I have eight dates remaining of my challenge and now one burning question to answer. Until next time.

Date One – “D Electrician”

He met all my dating requirements:

A lot has happened in my online dating world during the past two days.   I made plans to meet four different men this week.  Backed out on one of them (too creepy) and have a few asking about next week.

I made my first date with D the 38-year-old electrician.

He met all my dating requirements:

  – job

√ – automobile

√ – house arrest ankle monitor

(just kidding about the last one)

and his profile pics were kinda cute.  (My sister said they’re not cute)

We agreed to meet at a restaurant near my house yesterday evening.

I arrived on time.  He did not arrive at all.  He didn’t text;

he didn’t call and didn’t show.

HE DIDN’T SHOW!

I received a text this morning stating he never heard back from me last night.    I recommended he lose my number.   He apologized for what he deemed a misunderstanding and asked if we could meet up next week.  I politely declined his invitation.  Then he sent the last message below and I don’t know what to do.

I appreciate any advice on the matter.

Please let me know what you think I should do by posting a comment.

Until next time… I am meeting C++ at 6:00 pm tonight.

Wish me luck!

Online Dating Challenge – Day 3

It’s been three days since I joined two online dating apps – WooPlus and OkCupid.

I have received almost 100 responses. Nearly all of them are through OkCupid.  The messages have been steady and keep coming.  This has inspired me, and I have to say I am really going for it!.   I’ve responded back to over 50 messages.  Out of those, there have been three phone conversations and a handful of “we should meet up sometime” texts.  Another plus is OkCupid matches me with local area men.

Unfortunately,  I have to give WooPlus a D-minus with only a handful of responses and most live at least 50 miles away.

Since my dating profile for each site is a little different, I wanted you to see both.  My Woo profile is in my previous post.  Here is the one I created for OkC:

OkCupid Profile

 

I also wanted to share a few of my conversations so far…

Message #1

This guy had a great profile but left me hanging…

Screenshot_20170730-213334_1501477284100 

Never heard back.


Message #2

Any ideas what Mfbf stands for? MrFrustrated something something?

I’m not sure.

Screenshot 2017-07-30 at 10.11.52 PM - Edited.png


 Message #3

We may not know each other’s language, but I think he gets my jokes…

    Screenshot_20170730-213241_1501476703138

Good News!!!! “Mr. C++,” asked me out on a “what?” yes, a date!

This Friday.   I can’t wait to tell you all about it.